TBP 318: Zoe Sayetta — Cognitive Dissonance, Competitiveness, & Body Image in Climbing
Coach Zoe Sayetta is back on the show, and this time she’s talking about something she’s been seeing constantly in her coaching: athletes who have trouble holding two feelings about the same performance at once. You either crushed it or you blew it. You’re a good slab climber or a bad one. There’s no room for “I’m proud of this AND I’m disappointed by this,” and Zoe thinks that binary trap is quietly shaping how climbers see themselves, compete, and recover from setbacks.
We get into how to actually sit with disappointment instead of talking yourself out of it, why social comparison isn’t automatically the enemy, what it looks like to let a competitive “killer instinct” back into a team culture built on support, and why owning your biggest goals out loud matters more than people think. We close on a heavier but important topic: body image, RED-S, and eating disorders among elite climbers, and how coaches can respond responsibly when they see an athlete in trouble.
In this episode:
- Cognitive dissonance in climbing: why we struggle to feel good and bad about the same performance
- A simple exercise: listing the good and the bad side by side
- The “tennis player” trap — holding back so you never have to face your best effort failing
- Why saying a fear or belief out loud changes it
- The most common limiting belief Zoe hears: “I don’t belong here”
- Why climbing’s grading system fuels perfectionism
- Have kids’ attitudes changed in Zoe’s 20 years of coaching? Her answer may surprise you
- “The best athletes don’t love winning, they hate losing” — and why longevity depends on holding both
- Shame, embarrassment, and how they mask the emotions underneath
- The dark side of toxic positivity in youth sports
- Reframing social comparison — when it helps vs. when it hurts
- “The Challenger”: a drill Zoe built to reintroduce competitive fire to a team that had gotten too docile
- Why owning your real goals out loud (to someone other than your competitor) matters
- Wanting to beat a specific person — is that healthy? Confidence vs. cockiness
- A story about a 13-year-old athlete who placed third by one hold, and what she taught Zoe about supporting big dreams
- Body image, RED-S, and eating disorders in elite climbing — a hard but necessary conversation
- A practical tool for supporting someone (a kid, a partner, yourself) through a tough emotional moment: picking a defined “mourning” window
Content note: this episode includes a candid discussion of eating disorders, RED-S (Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport), and body image in competitive climbing.
About Zoe
Zoe Sayetta is an independent youth and adult climbing coach in New York and she has her masters in sport psychology. She loves working with youth climbers, especially on their mindset, and she has a private practice as a sport psychology coach for youth and adults. She was on the show a while back talking about fostering a growth mindset in youth climbers here.
Connect with Zoe Sayetta
- Website: www.sayettacoaching.com
- Instagram: @sayetta.coaching
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